What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
