ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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