Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
