I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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