And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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