i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
