do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
