In the future we'll all be gay
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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