Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
