So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I did not marry a roomba.
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