Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
she told me i tasted like america
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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