is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
