Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Boobs are out for the taking
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
