please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
