ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
