I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
