is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
