I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
