i don't like sucking hair
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
