I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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