So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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