Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
