so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Randomize
