help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
he puts the penis in happiness.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
