Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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