they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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