Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
