Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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