Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
