I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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