After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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