this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
