god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
