I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
