Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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