i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
