I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Never joke about your clitoris.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
