just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
