Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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