Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
