the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
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