meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
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