You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
