So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
she pinky promised me she was 18
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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