At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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