I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
