Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
He passed out mid-signature
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
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