you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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