mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
