I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Randomize
