Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
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