she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
