so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
You ate ashes out of my bong
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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