Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
We need to rekindle our bromance
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
