When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
