"it" just moved
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
